Japanese Weddings: A Blend of Tradition and Modernity

It isn't just a matter of signing papers—it's a mix of cultural heritage, personal preferences, and modernity. Whether an individual chooses to have a Western wedding or a Shinto ceremony, there is plenty to choose from when decorating the big day.

Registering a Marriage in Japan

In Japan, marriage is not recognised under the law until a marriage registration form (婚姻届, こんいんとどけ, kon'in todoke) is presented by the couple to the ward office or city hall. The process is straightforward, but some forms need to be submitted:

• Valid identification (passport or foreigner's residence card)

• Family registry extract (戸籍謄本, こせきとうほん, koseki tōhon) for Japanese nationals

• Two adult witnesses' signatures (older than 20 years old)

  
  

Once approved, the marriage is legalised—even if the couple does not hold a wedding ceremony.

Different Japanese Wedding Styles

There are different styles of Japanese weddings that capture tradition and modern trends. Some of the most sought-after ones include:

• Shinto Wedding (神前式, しんぜんしき): A traditional ceremony held in a shrine by a priest. The groom and bride wear official kimono and exchange a sake-sharing ritual called san-san-kudo (三三九度, さんさんくど), signifying their bond.

  
  

• Buddhist Wedding (仏前式, ぶつぜんしき): This smaller ceremony takes place in a temple and is conducted by a monk, who leads the vows.

  
  

• Civil/Non-religious Wedding (人前式, じんぜんしき): A contemporary style in which the bride and groom exchange vows with each other publicly, in front of family and friends rather than following religious patterns.

  
  

• Western-style Wedding (西洋式, せいようしき): Christian wedding-based ceremonies are typically conducted in a chapel, the bride in white and the groom in a tuxedo.

The Wedding Reception (披露宴, ひろうえん, hirōen)

After the ceremony, many couples hold a 披露宴 (hirōen), that is, a formal reception during which they toast with friends and family. A typical reception includes:

• Speeches by the couple, their families, and friends

• Entertainment in the form of live music or a video presentation

• A multi-course meal with a mix of Western and Japanese cuisine

• A number of changes of clothes for the bride, from a traditional kimono to a colourful 色打掛 (いろうちかけ, iro-uchikake) or an evening dress

• Cake-cutting and ceremonial toast

• Monetary gifts (ご祝儀, ごしゅうぎ, goshūgi) presented in decorative envelopes by guests

• For couples who want to extend the celebration, a nijikai (二次会, にじかい), an after-party with a less formal atmosphere, is sometimes organised, typically at a restaurant or bar.

Traditional Japanese Wedding Attire

Japanese weddings involve elaborate traditional attire, particularly for the bride. Two of the most symbolic items are:

• 白無垢 (しろむく, shiromuku): A white kimono bride wears during Shinto weddings. The white outfit symbolises purity and the bride's readiness to adapt to her new household.

• 色打掛 (いろうちかけ, iro uchikake): An embellished, multicoloured outer robe that is used on top of a kimono. Brides are likely to switch into it at the wedding reception, signifying they are beginning their new life within their new household and embracing the hues of their new home.

• The groom wears a traditional montsuki haori hakama (紋付き袴, もんつきはおりはかま) that consists of a family crested black kimono, formal haori (jacket), and striped hakama trousers.

Wedding Gifts to Guests (引き出物, ひきでもの, hikidemono)

Instead of guests giving gifts to the couple, it is usual for the newlyweds to give their guests a 引き出物 (hikidemono) as a gesture of appreciation. The gifts normally include:

• Refined household items, i.e., fine tableware

• Traditional sweets

• A gift list so that guests can pick their own gift

• 縁起物 (えんぎもの, engimono)—lucky charms symbolising good fortune

Changing Surnames After Marriage

Japanese law mandates that a married couple have the same surname, except if one of the partners is a foreigner. If a Japanese citizen gets married to someone who is not Japanese, they can retain their original surname. But if both partners are Japanese, they will have to take one common surname—usually the husband's.

Final Thoughts

Japanese weddings are a fascinating combination of old and new, meshing ancient traditions with modern celebrations. Whether a couple opts for a shrine ceremony, a Western wedding, or something in between, the event is always culturally rich and meaningful. Understanding these traditions can help couples, both foreign and domestic, navigate their wedding experience in Japan.